I`m walking home from a store. It`s November and the first real frost of the winter when I see this kid frozen from her tongue to the lamp-post. She is panicking and crying. I`m like ok what now? I look and I`m like I can`t leave her there she might froze to death. I look around and the kid looks at me and we are there all by our selves and I`m like now Valtteri think!

Then I think it up and I walk to the kid and I`m like don`t worry. We are gonna get you off in no time.

Kid looks at me and stops crying when I move next to her and take a good firm position.

And then I let it all out with real pressure an it doesn`t take a minute when kid is free. Later I feel really good about myself for helping that kid. But I didn`t stay there to get thanked. I just picked up my groceries and was on my way. Cause I didn`t do it for the thank yous or anything I just think it was a right thing to do and you always need to help people in distress. And the expression on that kids face was thanks enough.

Tamponivampyyri

Story of a Tampon Vampire

Wind turns cold as moon rises above the roof tops as warmth of the september day passes and day turns into night. Far at the edge of the town stands church which steeples draw silhouette against the night sky as moon rises ever higher.
There in the old churches second steeple lives Tampon Vampire. 
After the moon has reached it`s highes peak Tampon Vampire spreads it`s wings and rises high in the cool night air ready for the future acts of blood.

Using it`s sonar Tampon Vampire directs it`s silent flight to the next door market.
Without anyone noticing it passes two clerks at the register, giggling their young age. Past the old lady at the meat desk, desperate to find mettwurst band-aid to fill the awfull emptines her late husband has left behind.
Past the single mothers with their children it fies and seeks without anyone noticing because Tampon Vampire is a master of camouflaging in it`s enviroment.

Finaly Tampon Vampire finds an aisle it`s looking for. The aisle of female hygiene products. There, from all the tampon packages it chooses the most tempting one to hide in and wait for it`s victim.

This is the most difficlt and dangerous phase of Tampon Vampires hunting habits because every once and awhile it might have to wait for it`s victim for days trapped inside the dark throught of the package. In worst case especially if time has passed since it`s last meal this could lead to it`s death.

Also sunlights drying effect is deadly for Tampon Vampire and that is why it must carefully avoid daylight during it`s hunts.

However tonight Tampon Vampire don`t have to wait long when hasty clatter of high heel shoes draws nearer.  

When woman picks the package Tampon Vampires senses sharpen from a thought of the closing blood feast. It knows that now one must stay absolutely quiet.

Amidst of bananas and pineapples the unsuspecting woman takes Vampire to her home.

As the menses start, woman slightly over twenty of age, small, slim and fair as a painting, picks Tampon Vampire from the package. Even Tampon Vampire knows not show it`s teeth just yet small smile ripples it`s lips.

Woman sets the vampire she thinks to is a tampon in it`s place and quickly Tampon Vampire burrows deeper in the soft hole until only short piece of string is visible between womans thighs.

Sounds of drinking fill the darkness...

After six hours Tampon Vampire stays still feeding with womans blood getting fatter until woman thinks that tima has come to change the tampon. This would in principle be unnecessary becaus of the unbelievable absorption capacity of Tampon Vampire. For Tampon Vampire it would be possible to feast continuously for whole week after of which it would detach itself.
This time however things go different.
Tampon Vampire feels the first yanks disturbing it`s meal and indignantly exposes it`s teeth and sticks tighter womans vagina.

Slightly surprised woman pulls harder from the tail she thinks as string and Tampon Vampire gets loose. Out pulled and outraged Tampon vampire scrabble at the end of of it`s string flapping it`s wings and furiously hissing at the womans face. Face that is framed by the most beautiful blond hair that one might imagine, turns into expression of pure horror and despair.

Scream fills the small space of WC bouncing from ceramic tiles wall to wall. For a moment there it feels that scream won`t ever die out and is forced to echo there and reread this moment of horror for ever and ever. Moment that makes beauty of this beautiful creature wither early.

After it`s cover has blown Tampon Vampire knows there is not much night left and speeds out of the open window into the escaping night where shadows are fading scaringly fast.

Without wavering it flies back to it`s familiar steeple and there in the shadows it bestows Tampon Vampire wraps itself for a day and rests to gain strenght for future adventures.

Read also about Tampon Vampires eventful future adventures.

In next heart stopping episode:

Angry towns people burn down the church and drive Tampon Vampire into hiding.

See also tampon vampires adventures on silverscreen!

In a movie Tampon Vampire and Happy Fellows of Sodom.

Spectacular dance scenes! Three oscar nominations! Best cameo appearance, Best Direction and set design.

And even if life often is just one big amputation I sometimes feel like a KING.

Hey HEY! Check this out, it just came of!

In this empty room I sing to the deaf ears.

Time had come to give in to antisemitism. (nude nazi)

Even if they had ten fingers and ten toes people still treated brothers like they were inkblot test person.

Meeting with his favourite character didn`t exactly met with little Ville-Matti`s expectaions.

Timo`s and Anniina`s sex games had taken a turn to perverted.

Red milk

472013

"Are YOU a sleep?"

For fucks sake! Are they flying there again!

"Feels really fuckin` stupid."

Verneri designs nasty wepon; anus homing bullet, that is going to mete out plenty of death and destruction. fig.num.5 Bullet that has found it`s target travels through subjects digestion until it reaches mouth where it creates high power explosion.

Timo stepped so deep in the shit that his arms dislocated.

Jaakkos back is itching, but he has only one bad hand to scratch it with.

And yet another  new self-rightious humanshit enjoyning other peoples misery.

 

Little Teemu was bursting from joy after finding an arm. Even if it was just a little bit too big and only a left arm.

Teemu ties the hand to it`s place. Finally the birth defect that has bothered Teemu all his life is fixed, well half of it anyway. "Finally I can be like other little boys."-Thinks Teemu and runs to the field to play some football.

Teemu speeds up and kicks with all the powers he`s got right past the ball and his foot snaps off from the knee and flies staright to the back yard of Tyrväinen.

Where Tyrväinen`s dog ROME, crumpy by old age, eats the foot before anyone gets there to stop him.

 

In the name of science Tarmo decided to decapitate.

In the hole ripped in the darkness by the head lights of the passing car my eyes feel like they are about to burst in flames.

For a second there they light also your face. When our eyes meet you smile and wink but I turn away from that expression of mental poverty and retardedness to move on.

But still you stagger after me.

When I stop again woman catches up with me. She presses herself against me and tries to kiss me. When those lips filled with lies approach my skin, turns the loathing I feel against you quickly into hate.

As I break your arm a sound of pleasure escapes my lips. I have not enjoyed your company this much in a long time.

When i finally push her over the rail into the darkness waiting beneath us the falling body with O-shaped mouth reminds me of deflated blow up doll.

After a moment of silence comes sound like a wet kiss as body hits the rocks underneath me. Sudden feeling of pleasure washes over me.

Your face is allready starting to fade in my mind, when I notice a high heel shoe that has fell on the street.

I bend to pick it up and ...throw it also in the rabid.